Sunday, November 21, 2010

Got My Head Outta the Clouds

Just over 2 years in the making (way longer than I estimated :: hanging my head in shame::) but China Clouds is now in the books!! I put a real push on last week - I swear, it was a mission!!

It's been a journey that I totally loved. Even though I put her aside for other projects she waited patiently for me to return and it was love again. It was a challenge - my first real Kaffe - and I do feel triumphant.
I'll put it in the mail to Jackie this week - I wish that I could see her face. I hope that the reality of it lives up to her expectations!!

My last three treatments are Taxotere and it freakin' sucks!! I knew that I had it too good these past few months & now I'm paying for it.

I have to sit with my fingers in ice while the drug is administered (1-1.5 hours) to help prevent damage to my fingernails so knitting is out.
Now I have the most wicked bone/joint pain from my waist down; horrible, stabbing/shooting pains that is probably like arthritis to the 'enth degree. Sitting, walking, laying down - no position is any worse or better than another.
My stomach is in knots - not nauseous, just gut-wrenching pain. Eating, not eating, water ... nothing seems to make the pain better or worse.
My lips are numb-ish and my taste buds are shot - everything tastes kind of grey and soapy.
I'm going to get some better drugs tomorrow for the bone/joint pain but it's going to be a long couple of months ahead with nothing but strength of will to haul my ass through each hour.

Not sure about blogging The Amazing Race tonight - concentrating & sitting up are not my strong suits right now.


  1. China Clouds is stunning!! What a masterpiece.

    The new drugs sound dreadful! I know you have the grit to stick it out, but it totally sucks that you have to. You can get books on your i-pod to help distract you. The Charlaine Harris series with Sookie Stackhouse can really suck you in (vampire pun. Sorry.)

    Hope the pain meds kick in right away! Keeping you in my thoughts!

  2. China Clouds is beautiful -- I saw it earlier today on Ravelry - congratulations!

    Hang in there!!!

  3. Sorry to hear the crap you have to go through, but China Clouds is amazing.

  4. China Clouds is gorgeous. Definietly get some good drugs. those effects sound terribly painful/uncomfortable. I'm rooting for you!

  5. China Clouds was definitely worth the two years!

    Can you listen to a book or music or something during treatment, just to keep your mind off what's going on? Thinking of you...

  6. I know they say you only get in life what you can handle, but there are limits and good people shouldn't have to go through crap like that. Here's hoping the meds improve everything.
    And China Clouds is stunning. just stunning.

  7. sending lots of love and good thoughts your way - here's hoping that you are back to your old speedy self soon!!

    love you (and that gorgeous sweater!)


  8. People have said to me before "I don't know which is worse the cure or the cancer" but remember these side effects are horrible but not permanent. Hang in there. I know its easy for me to say but please keep presevering. Your tenacity will keep you strong through this.
    Talk to your doctors and nurses about the side effects, there are meds that can help.
    I wish you the best.
    P.S. The sweater is gorgeous!