Self Pity Day

When I was in treatment a friend gifted me with a book, which I can't remember the title of, but I really enjoyed it.
One part that I personally took away from it was that it's okay to feel sorry for yourself, to wallow a bit; not endlessly, not to your detriment. Put a time limit on it, let go and feel all the sadness and let the self pity wash over you.
When the time is up, move on. Pick yourself up by your boot straps and get on with the business of living.
Today I am just feeling overwhelmed by the relentlessness of the day-to-day pain I'm in, the amount of narcotics that I need to deal with that pain and the effects that it all has on me.
Choosing between the pain or the lethargy/buzzyness, itching, sleep disruption and fogginess doesn't really feel like a choice at all. But I do choose, and I hate that too.

So between being back at work and "whatnot", I've been not been very knitterly. But deadlines loom, and y'all know that there's like a deadline to motivate. And my time limit is one day. So come pain or side effects, it's back in the saddle tomorrow.


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