Monday, March 5, 2012

The Sound of Silence

Things have been very loud in my head lately. People and things and stuff all demanding my attention & energy because there is no one else to take care of them and I am finally finding a way to hear through it all, finding a way to hear the truths through the static and seeking the silence.

While I love knitting and it is truly a solace, I have a hard time knitting when I am deeply stressed. I still carry it, pick it up and make a stab at a few stitches but I can't feel it. That breaks my heart and crushes my spirit to no small degree.
Things are not finally resolved but there has been progress made towards that end and I feel more me. I am rediscovering the joy of each stitch, t
he beauty of the fibre & colour and the simple wonder of blocking.

Cancer, infidelity, divorce. These are just events that set us upon a journey. It has been a journe
y of discovery - about myself, those whom I believed I knew and those who I didn't know and have come to know. I haven't come to the end of this journey so I know I have more to learn. I truly appreciate moments - a look, a kiss, a laugh - because these moments have the strength to bear us up through minutes & hours & days of challenges.

I haven't left but I will be back more often.

7 comments:

Anne said...

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better....about knitting, about everything.

I can't imagine what you have gone through....divorce is so hard without the rest of the stuff.....and to put an illness with tough treatment on top of it, well, you should be proud.......

Anne

Carol said...

One foot in front of the other is how we all get through it. You can and will do it.

deirdre said...

Baby steps are definitely what get you through - and if you think about what you have already come through, you have to know that it has all made you stronger, maybe even more 'you'.

The fun comes back slowly, but it does come back...

Roxie said...

You have a lot of grieving to get through. You are stronger than you knew, and you will survive, and eventually thrive! And meanwhile, joy is patiently waiting to embrace you. One stitch at a time will bring you through this long gray stretch.

Sandra said...

I'm glad you will be back more often - you do know we are all here for you.

Yvette said...

Peace girl. Thank you for sharing with such honesty and insight.

Anonymous said...

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh”...Wanda