Things have been very loud in my head lately. People and things and stuff all demanding my attention & energy because there is no one else to take care of them and I am finally finding a way to hear through it all, finding a way to hear the truths through the static and seeking the silence.
While I love knitting and it is truly a solace, I have a hard time knitting when I am deeply stressed. I still carry it, pick it up and make a stab at a few stitches but I can't feel it. That breaks my heart and crushes my spirit to no small degree.
Things are not finally resolved but there has been progress made towards that end and I feel more me. I am rediscovering the joy of each stitch, the beauty of the fibre & colour and the simple wonder of blocking.
Cancer, infidelity, divorce. These are just events that set us upon a journey. It has been a journey of discovery - about myself, those whom I believed I knew and those who I didn't know and have come to know. I haven't come to the end of this journey so I know I have more to learn. I truly appreciate moments - a look, a kiss, a laugh - because these moments have the strength to bear us up through minutes & hours & days of challenges.
I haven't left but I will be back more often.