Hair Today

So, knowing that my hair is going to fall out (yes, there is a minute chance that it won't but I've been realistic to this point, no reason to stick my head in the sand now) I need to think forward. My brain is grasping this nicely and I've got a lovely Shedir and will make a couple more and Joan has said that she is going to be all over Annabelle's Caps.
Other women who have gone through this have suggested that it might be easier (physically & emotionally) to have my hair cut shorter before it starts falling out from the chemo. It doesn't just fall out & leave you with a lovely clean scalp - it's patchy & uneven and unattractive, certainly not improved by having long hair. I've been labouring with that for a couple of days & I've made an appt to get it cut on Tuesday. I'm going to ask a friend to come with me because this is sort of a pre-goodbye to my hair (to which I have become quite accustomed, even when I'm complaining about it). It's been hard to decide to go forward with this - it's not like when I just get my hair cut because I want to - and while I've decided that this is a good decision it's probably going to make me cry & I don't want the poor hairdresser to take it all personal & then have to comfort me.
Then maybe we'll go look at wigs - shopping makes me happy!! And then between hats & wigs I should be set for hair loss, well at least be half-way prepared for it.

I wish that I could stop having to decide things though. Seriously - I've made a lot of big decisions and I'm starting to lose the ability to cope well with having to make any small decisions. I think that it's worse because even though I think that my head is wrapped around treatment & side effects I don't know as how on board my subconscious is with it all. When I can actually get to sleep I sleep lightly and not well, The Allergies (when Kyle was little he called our ragweed allergies "The Allergies" like a proper name & it's stuck) certainly aren't helping but I don't feel like they are entirely to blame. I don't know how to resolve this so I'm just trying to do all of the "good sleep" things that I can and take it as it comes. Although I will feel masses better when I'm not all nasally and tired from The Allergies! LOL

Okay - end of the whining.

The Beverly Cardigan is done - Score!!!

From What's Wannietta Knitting Today?

I'm working on the Ginormous Cowl - I know it doesn't look like much right now but it'll totally be done on time too.

From What's Wannietta Knitting Today?

See you at the Fair!!

New Friend

This is Elizabeth,

From What's Wannietta Knitting Today?

one of the nurses who will be caring for my PICC line (flushing it out and changing the dressings) and helping to manage some of the side effects of the chemo over the next 18 weeks. Bonus - Elizabeth knows how to knit though she said that she's really not very good. Maybe I'll have to claim that my health requires a knitting buddy!
The PICC line is not much to see. Though Amanda brought her friends in to see it like show & tell! They were both intrigued & grossed out by it. I did ask Elizabeth about using it as a Caffeine IV. Towing the company line she suggested that it not be used as such but allowed as how it was a good idea! LOL She said that she's seen drug abusers shooting up in the hospital with it ... so seriously, how bad could it be to main line a bit of Starbucks?
Elizabeth "sausage wrapped" it so that the line clamp doesn't stab into my skin when I wear a sleeve. The hospital gave me a stretchy (stretched out) thing that is alright during the day if I'm not actually doing much but it keeps slipping down. Which made me think ... at what point does a sock become a sleeve? When you cut off the foot!

From What's Wannietta Knitting Today?

Normally I duplicate stitch over the thin stitches in the heel or darn the hole if it comes to that but this Opal sock had done it's time & was seriously thin anyway. It's a bit snug, but it keeps the external part of the PICC line nice & secure at night (I'm seriously paranoid that I'm going to rip it out in my sleep). Once I'm done my Knitters Fair knitting I will knit up a couple of more sleeves - Knit One Below will be the perfect stretchy stitch for this!!
Speaking of Knitters Fair - Beverly is moving right along! I finished the 1st sleeve yesterday waiting to get the PICC line put in. Some emergency came up & they were running 1.5 hours late. OY!! I was totally prepared though! This is the pile that it makes on my lap - you'll have to wait to see if I matched the sleeves!!

From What's Wannietta Knitting Today?

After the Hearts

I went down to Creative Yarns last Saturday and met up with Joan. Joan, Christina, Mairi & Wendy knit up some hearts to help me on my mission. Joan kind of Tom Sawyered the rest of them into it but they were keen after they realized how easy it was! By Sunday evening I had an odd 155 hearts - I dropped them off on Monday to a grateful Susan. Yes, I forgot to take a picture. Sigh.

They were an interesting & worthwhile diversion but it's back to the less philanthropic deadlines.








I love the new colour ... but then again I always like a new colour!!








I drove down into Kleinburg today to pick up some magazines from Carol. Again, forgot my camera. I totally need an iPhone so that I can share more moments!! Wow - a whack of classic VK's & Knitters magazines!! I was inspired and went straight downstairs and sorted through my doubles along with extra needles that I have acquired over time. Gilda's House is off to a great start on their knitting library!!

Getting my Knit On!

I am cranking out hearts - I'll totally reach my initial goal of 100, I'm pushing for 150 & dreaming of 200!!

Progress

Oy - Amanda has had a friend from Milton up this week so we've been doing stuff - malls, beach, drive-in - to keep them occupied. They haven't seen each other in 5 years but have kept up on Facebook and are getting along really well. I've not been as productive as I may have wanted but I've been having fun & rest.

Thank you all so much for your continued support!! I'm doing good ... really. I'm feeling quite healed, there are still twinges if I reach too far or lift something wrong but the swelling & tenderness is going down. I make a conscious effort not to think ahead to the chemo. I'm making a list of questions for the Dr. but until we meet with him and get some data there is no way to predict how it's going to affect me so I'm just not borrowing trouble. I don't know how quickly they will want to start the chemo, but since I'll have waited that long I'm going to negotiate like an Apprentice to get it pushed out pasts the 11^th 'cause I'm not going to miss the Knitters Fair!! While I'm not going to borrow trouble I'm not going to be naively optimistic and I want to be able to have a great day without worrying about side effects.

OMG - I can't believe that Julie's tent sale sneaked up on me!! I totally thought that it was next weekend. I know, but when she was blogging about getting ready I really thought that she was just ... getting ready! D'oh!!! I don't have the time to go up today and with taking Emily home tomorrow won't make it before it closes. I've been at the tent sale for time beyond memory ... Son of a Nutcracker!!! No, I didn't have anything in mind to buy & I totally don't need more yarn ... that it completely beside the point. ARGH!!!

I am almost ready to start the 3rd colour on my Creatively Dyed Sweet Spot strip - I love the vibrant colours on this 2nd colour. Sorry, I don't have the name for this one,.

The Beverly Cardigan is moving right along. The colour changes are moving along - I told Julie that I'll just have to knit faster to make the colours change more swiftly. I've split off at the armholes & can fit all of the stitches on a straight needle so I think that I'm going to be able to pick up a bit of speed now. 35,960 sts to the end of the body.

I've been neglecting China Clouds - she's sitting beside me in her basket, quietly watching me with my other projects. Her silence makes me feel even more guilty. You know I love you darlin' - I'll be back.

On & On

Thanks everyone - all of your comments, cards, emails, positive thoughts & prayers are so appreciated and give me strength when my own strength wanes.

Amanda takes good care of me - she is a most excellent aesthetician-in-the-making & maid, along with general minion extraordinaire. Don't tell her, but it makes her bouts of teenage attitude slightly easier to bear.

Kerwyn surprised me with flowers yesterday - a "good diagnosis" cheer. Along with wine & Chinese for dinner it was perfect, especially since there is always enough Chinese for leftover the next night!! No, I don't sit with the flowers all the time, just for the photo op. Just when I thought the romantic in him had gone for good!

I spent some time outside chillin' on the deck. I have become seriously addicted to McD's Iced Coffee. A large vanilla iced coffee with an extra shot of vanilla totally hits the spot every time. I am dreading when they take it off of the menu which I'm sure they will when the weather turns. No ... not thinking about that!!! I have never been a fan of cold coffee, when my hot coffee hits that just-past-lukewarm stage I can't even drink it, but there's something about this iced coffee ...

Getting on with the Beverly Cardigan. At this point I have 422 stitches on the needle and am increasing 8 sts every 2 rows. I know, but just 9,280 more sts to go before I should be able to split off the sleeves - if my row gauge isn't too tight then I'll have to put in some extra rows. Fingers crossed!!!

What Would I do Without Knitting

So ... just one more day before I get pathology results from the surgery. I seriously don't know how people who don't have a hobby/distraction/obsession get through hard times. I still think about the endless "what if's" while I knit but having the yarn sliding through my fingers and fabric coming off of the needles keeps me from dwelling too deeply and gives me a zen kind of peace that keeps the demons at bay.

You're familiar with China Clouds - I'm on to the RF now. After a wee OOPS! where I forgot to do the vent shaping on the border it's full steam ahead.

I started on the Beverly Cardigan for Julie - deadline Knitters Fair. I got this.

The Creatively Dyed Sweet Spot strip is going great - notice how just a wee change in tension changes the angle of the patterning. I knit that stretch at the beach - obviously quite relaxed. Still lovin' it!!

We went to the beach again yesterday - I taught Randy how to knit. After Nic & Krista learned Randy mentioned that he'd like to learn and what better place than at the beach. Another natural - he totally took to it!!!

My niece Chantal made me this lovely wall hanging - I don't know if she's heard me sing ... LOL. Thanks Chantal - love ya!!!